What Comes Round, Goes Around

I am sitting in the park plucking up the courage to know what to say to her. I look at my watch, twenty minutes until we meet. I can see the coffee shop across from where I am sitting  on the bench and  there she sits, patiently, with a  cup of coffee I think, as always she is  early.  Why does she do that? She makes me look bad because I am always late. 

The sun shines on her face and she looks so beautiful, she is biting her nails, Amanda always does that when she is nervous. Why would she be nervous, she does not know I am going to break up with her. It’s probably nothing , I shake my head and forget.

 Am I doing the right thing?  Come on, pull yourself together, Simon. I am not happy; we want different things in our lives. Amanda is not the person I thought she was. I don’t think I shall tell her about the affair I have been having unless I   have to, but then how do I tell her I been having  an affair  and it’s been going on for four months. No, I’ll   just go  with it’s not you, it’s me.  To be fair, it is her fault, though why have I been seeing someone else? If she had just given me more attention than her so-called  best friend, then I would  not have  looked somewhere else, and she would not have moaned  at me all the time, for having a life.

I will tell her I am not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship right now.  Yeh, that’s good. I feel very confident about this. I don’t love her and don’t really like her that much, I only was with her so  I could get close  to her sister but  that did not work,  she seemed  to  have a rea dislike  for  me. I wonder why? I was always nice  to  her.

 Also  Amanda’s family are very rich and I could have got  on board  on her dad’s family  business  if it got really serious between us . Her family is loaded, which is  an added  bonus, but no,  nothing’s worth that if I am with a woman I hate and despise.

It’s starting to rain and I glance at  my watch: it’s about 12.00pm .  Right, I had better shake off my grin and look sad. I can’t believe it, I am going to be finally free . Yes. I’d better run over to the coffee shop. Brace yourself, Simon, this is not going to be pretty and get ready for a lot of tears and she’ll probably beg me to  reconsider our relationship. Not on her nelly. Not even if I was offered a million pounds, even though I would definitely consider it. Right, come on, the sooner I get it over and done  with the better.

The coffee shop is busy with quite  a few people chatting aloud and yelling at the waitress to be served.  The smell  of a  fried breakfast wafts around the coffee shop. She watches him get up and leave the  coffee shop. He doesn’t  even look back  to see  if she’s ok and she just  sits staring out of the window holding her coffee in her hand trying to let everything sink in from what’s just happened and watches him walk off.

I can’t believe what’s happened, it feels like a dream and I have been hit by a rollercoaster. Where did that come from? I never expected him to break up with me . I thought he was happy . I always thought it was me , I felt like I could not trust him though  I don’t know why . I suppose  it was my  sister, Katie, who kept going on at me about how he’s treats me and  how he  not  the person I think he is: this left me doubting our relationship and myself.  She said I am a different person since I met him, I suppose she’s right but I love him . Well, at least I thought I did. No, I do  love Simon. I think I do.  Oh, I don’t know, I am  so confused right now.

 I know he can be a bit selfish at times but I thought we had a something really special between us.  Is that me just being vulnerable and stupid and not seeing what’s right in front of me?  Maybe I did not want to see who he really was.  I was happy and contented. It did not help when I found  the  ring . It looked like 9ct with a huge diamond on it.  It fell  out  of his pocket the other day and I couldn’t help myself when I saw  it but  I felt panic come  all over my  body.  I don’t know why and  could not explain how I  was feeling and I quickly put the ring back in his coat and forgot all  about  it . I thought that’s why he asked me here, to marry me, because this is where we first met.  Then while I  was waiting for him that panic came over me  .Why ? But then how wrong could  I have been  .

Another thing, I did not cry when he told me it was  over. Why? I don’t  know . I  just could not shred at least  one  tear which seemed to offend him  and he got angry and  left but I  just could   not seem to  comprehend  what he was saying to me and it  did not seem to add up  what he was saying to me. I feel  like  there is something he’s not telling me but, to  be  fair,  I needed to tell him something  but  I did not tell  him. Did not know how to, but it does not  matter anymore,  it’s his loss I  suppose.

 She gets up and  leaves a tip  on the table for the waitress.  The waitress says thank you but she does not hear her. She walks out  of the coffee shop in a daze still, as if what’s just happened is not true and trying to justify the situation and her wrestling with herself over her  feelings for him.

As she crosses the road she sees  something in the  corner  of her eye that takes her attention away from the busy  road. A car screeches and the horn’s just constantly beeping.

Bang!

She is lying on the road unconscious with blood everywhere. The woman gets out the car and  screams hysterically . ‘WHAT HAVE I DONE?’  

Ten years later

Simon drives through a village back to his home town, Rothley. It’s been ten years since I left here; it happened so quickly. I remember I  broke  up with Amanda and  when I got back  I had a phone call from my step mum; my dad and been taken in to  hospital  due to a heart attack so I got my stuff and hopped on a  plane to  America. My mum and dad had been split up for five years and he moved over there and remarried. Since then I stayed over there. Dad got better and I ended up working for him. I am happily married now and my wife wants children but I am not ready for that commitment yet but now I find myself back here. It feels strange to  be  back here but the village looks the same  and  it feels  like I never left.

 I found myself back due to it being  my  mum’s funeral, she died from a stroke. My only regret was that I was not here for her. She told me  she felt ill and  could I come  back  to see her with Kay, but I could not, I was going on a skiing holiday and she said it was fine and she was just being silly . So I forgot all about it until a week ago . I got a phone call to say she had passed away.  I was angry at myself but, to be honest there was nothing I could do for her. I told Lisa to stay in America there was no need for her to change her schedule for someone she did not know even know.   

All of sudden I start to think about Amanda. I have not thought about her since  that day I left the coffee shop: I wonder how she is. I bet she is happily married now.  I was so horrible to her that day and I have grown up a lot since then. I never got on with her sister ,even though I had a crush on her.

 I just forgot about everything when I went over to America.  I drive pass loads of houses and one sticks out more than any of the rest, it’s her house.  I stop the car . Maybe I should go over and say ‘hi’ and apologise to  her and her sister for what a jerk I was  to  them. No, don’t be silly,, they probably forgot all about me  now. He starts the engine and there’s a knock at the window. He rolls down the window  and looks up to see a  lady looking at him.

‘Hi, can I help you madam?’

‘It is you , I  thought it was you, do you not remember me, Simon?’

‘Is that you, Amanda?’

‘No, it’s her sister Katie’

‘Yes, hi Katie, you’re changed so much you look so much like  Amanda. How is she? I have only got back here today.  I am here for my mother’s funeral.’

I am so sorry, Simon. Your mother found it hard when you left, she always thought you would be back but you never did. You were always selfish, never bothered about anyone but yourself, surprised you came back now but, of course,  you came back for your inheritance. So predictable, Simon!’

‘Hey, you don’t  know  me  at  all  Katie, I only  asked about Amanda, not for  you to give me  a lecture.’  I have   not got time  for this; if  and when you see her tell her I am sorry for the day I walked out.’

You don’t know, do you , that’s right your mother tried to tell you but you never gave her  a chance to get  a word in edgeways so she must  have  decided not to tell you, She probably  thought you would blame  yourself. Well, it was  your fault.’

‘Why are you speaking in riddles, woman, I have not got time for this.’ He tries to start the car again, while muttering to himself.

She screams at him as he drives off ‘She dead, she’s been dead ten years today!’

He stops the car, gets out and  walks  towards her. ‘ What did you say ?’

‘She’s dead, she died the day you walked out on her and  told her it was over.  She was so taken back from what happened she walked on the road without looking and got knocked down by a car. She was  in a coma for a week and she gained consciousness  and told us to tell you she forgave you and understood why you did it.’

He felt like he had been hit by the bus: she died because of me .

‘The best bit is Simon she went there to tell you something, too. Amanda was pregnant with your child who you killed that day when you walked out on them both.’

He fell to the floor holding his stomach and being violently sick, shouting ‘NOO!’, she did not tell me . ‘Why?’

Katie just stares at him. I hope you can live with yourself for what you have done: you did not just kill one person that day, you  killed  two.’

She walks off and leaves him on the floor in  a heap, sobbing.

She turns back with a  great big smile on her face. ‘If he only knew!