My Old Friend Gin
What’s that smell, it smell familiar I turn over and stretch my hand out to reach for Lilly but she is not there. She is cooking I click what the smell is, ah bacon. I drift off back to sleep. Suddenly I hear shh
“Daddy’s sleep” bang bang thud. They both jump on me laughing.
“Daddy, wake up, they say in choruses”.
I hate mornings. I wake up at the sight of Lilly walking towards me with a fry up.
“Breakfast in bed, my darling.”
She comes towards me for a hug, I can smell her perfume. Rose I think. I put my arms out.
Bang! am wake and I shout “No”. I sit up bolt upright. Ah my head. Something really sticky running down my face and it smells disgusting. I vomit over my bag. I put my hand toward my head and I then take a look into my hand, an egg shell. Someone egged me. I hear laughing in the background. I still can’t figure out where I am and my eyes are hazy. I search around on the floor and find an old newspaper. I use it to wipe my mouth from vomit and the dripping egg. I search around again and find a bottle. I wave it into my face and realize it’s my old pal, Gin. The shock comes to me where I am.
I sit there for what sees ages and realize I am dreaming again. I look at my watch, its 4.00pm. I have been unconscious for nearly 6 hours. I glance around at my surrounding: I am in the park, I slept under the tree again. I see couples holding hands and children laughing. I feel a pain in my heart and a streak of envy, and anger creeps up inside me. I start to get up, slowly, the world feels like it’s moving. I hold on to the tree to steady myself. My belongings are spread cross the ground. I have not got much a pair of shoes, a couple of jumpers that look like they have been dragged around by a dog but I am not really bothered about that. The only thing I am concerned about is my ring. I can’t find it, where is it? No, not that please not that . I see it under my bag. I throw the bag and grab it. I can’t bear to look at it so I put it in my sock. Grab my stuff and realize my bag is covered in vomit. I reach for the newspaper again and wipe the bag down. That will do.
“Daddy, wake up, they say in choruses”.
I hate mornings. I wake up at the sight of Lilly walking towards me with a fry up.
“Breakfast in bed, my darling.”
She comes towards me for a hug, I can smell her perfume. Rose I think. I put my arms out.
Bang! am wake and I shout “No”. I sit up bolt upright. Ah my head. Something really sticky running down my face and it smells disgusting. I vomit over my bag. I put my hand toward my head and I then take a look into my hand, an egg shell. Someone egged me. I hear laughing in the background. I still can’t figure out where I am and my eyes are hazy. I search around on the floor and find an old newspaper. I use it to wipe my mouth from vomit and the dripping egg. I search around again and find a bottle. I wave it into my face and realize it’s my old pal, Gin. The shock comes to me where I am.
I sit there for what sees ages and realize I am dreaming again. I look at my watch, its 4.00pm. I have been unconscious for nearly 6 hours. I glance around at my surrounding: I am in the park, I slept under the tree again. I see couples holding hands and children laughing. I feel a pain in my heart and a streak of envy, and anger creeps up inside me. I start to get up, slowly, the world feels like it’s moving. I hold on to the tree to steady myself. My belongings are spread cross the ground. I have not got much a pair of shoes, a couple of jumpers that look like they have been dragged around by a dog but I am not really bothered about that. The only thing I am concerned about is my ring. I can’t find it, where is it? No, not that please not that . I see it under my bag. I throw the bag and grab it. I can’t bear to look at it so I put it in my sock. Grab my stuff and realize my bag is covered in vomit. I reach for the newspaper again and wipe the bag down. That will do.
I get my stuff and I am on my way. I look at my clock: it is now 6.30, blimey I realize it’s taken about two hours to get sorted. I had better hurry if I want to get to the soup kitchen and then the night shelter. About two weeks now I have been turned away because I have arrived late. I have been lucky, managed to sleep in a shop doorway which has kept me sheltered from the rain but it does not shelter you from passersby, I stroke my hair and a fragment of egg falls to the floor. I look up another crap night it seems. The clouds appear to look grey and angry. The last two nights I can’t quite remember what happened and how I got to the park but I like it that way. I hate remembering, it hurts too much.
I see the soup van and my old pal, Marty, with his dog, Oscar. He keeps telling me I should get a dog.
“They are great companions Burt, and they keep you warm and as an extra bonus you get more money from the social for having one”
I just shrug my shoulders at him, I don’t know why he calls me Burt. I suppose because I never told him my name but I don’t mind, it makes me forget who I am which is what I want. I don’t want to remember anything of my past, it’s too painful.
He waves me over. I can see he got me some soup and bread, they don’t really let you take two lots of food but the kitchen hands know him. He’s been on the streets for about four years now.
I start to walk towards him and there she is, as pretty as the first day I meet her, in her bright green outfit standing out as usual.
“Joe”, she calls “I have been waiting ages where have you been?”
She holds her arms out towards me I smell her rose perfume .
“Lily,” I shout
I run towards her with my arms out. “Lily, I missed you so much.” As I look up she disappears.
I sink to the floor with my hands in my face.
I feel a hand on my shoulders.
“Burt, you OK ?”
I don’t say anything . I realize its happened again. Joe helps me up and takes me to the side of the pavement where Oscar is guarding our food.
"It’s OK Burt, she’s gone “and hands me my great friend Gin, so I can forget the bad memories.
I see the soup van and my old pal, Marty, with his dog, Oscar. He keeps telling me I should get a dog.
“They are great companions Burt, and they keep you warm and as an extra bonus you get more money from the social for having one”
I just shrug my shoulders at him, I don’t know why he calls me Burt. I suppose because I never told him my name but I don’t mind, it makes me forget who I am which is what I want. I don’t want to remember anything of my past, it’s too painful.
He waves me over. I can see he got me some soup and bread, they don’t really let you take two lots of food but the kitchen hands know him. He’s been on the streets for about four years now.
I start to walk towards him and there she is, as pretty as the first day I meet her, in her bright green outfit standing out as usual.
“Joe”, she calls “I have been waiting ages where have you been?”
She holds her arms out towards me I smell her rose perfume .
“Lily,” I shout
I run towards her with my arms out. “Lily, I missed you so much.” As I look up she disappears.
I sink to the floor with my hands in my face.
I feel a hand on my shoulders.
“Burt, you OK ?”
I don’t say anything . I realize its happened again. Joe helps me up and takes me to the side of the pavement where Oscar is guarding our food.
"It’s OK Burt, she’s gone “and hands me my great friend Gin, so I can forget the bad memories.
No comments:
Post a Comment